Wow, this is the first time i’m actually doing this. But well, i needed an escape, a release and what better way than to put my thoughts into this world. Hopefully this acts as a sort of healing for me.
Have you ever felt so helpless in a situation? Where everywhere you look, there isn’t an escape. Stuck in a rut, stuck in the bottom of a well hoping someday some one is going to swing by and save you? Well welcome to my life now…..
I’m so tired of pretending to be happy, pretending everything is okay. the past few days i can’t seem to find the motivation or that inspiration to drag myself out of bed. It’s as if i’ve lost the fight in me. Right now, as i am typing this, i feel so numb to everything that is happening, i’m suppose to feel sad and hurt but somehow i don’t. Some would say this is a blessing, who wants to suffer and feel pain right? But well, it makes me feel like a robot, a soulless zombie.
Being in love is such a double-edged sword, on one hand it brings you that happiness, the sort of joy that you can find when you have that special someone in your life, going through everything by your side. But when you have that special someone, when you let that person in through your walls, have you thought what if that special someone turn on you and just stab you where it hurt most? Have you ever thought of that? Just how much are you willing to risk? I’ve risked it all and now i’m paying the price.
It’s not as if i have never been through this before, but when it comes to love, everyone brings a different pain to the table, a pain that is so unique to them. I could have never been prepared for the pain that she brings.