III

Its been awhile….. and honestly i’m exhausted. Its like they say, the only thing that’s constant is change itself. We’ve all been in situations where we try all our lives to avoid, situations where we swore we would never be in or even situations where we never pictured ourselves in. But here we are sitting in the depths of our own despair, wondering when will the nightmare end.

Here’s the thing most of us don’t see when we’re wallowing in these dark times, these are the times that challenge our very existence, where we feel most alive. This is the time we change, where we grow. It’s times like these where we can change how we look at our problems. Sure, it may be hard but honestly, no one ever said it was easy right? if it was that easy, divorce lawyers and marriage councellors would be out of a job.

You may think you had it rough, you may feel like the world is turning it’s back on you. So, let’s take a step back and look at the problem from a distance. In a world, where wars are going on, social unrest, racism, homophobia, assasinations, global warming, deadly diseases, etc. How does your problem compare to it? The universe has it way harder and it’s been around for billion of years! This is what you’re going to do:

1) Call some of your closest pals

2) Grab a nice cold one

3) Pop your favourite jam in the stereo

4) Embrace your very own existence.

5) If it still doesn’t work then repeat step 1 (even if your problem doesn’t fade away, it’ll sure feel good to feel fuzzy)

 

So the next time you’re faced with adversity, be it from relationships, work or family, just remember a smooth sea never made a good sailor ūüėČ

II

I’m so tired of this facade, it’s getting harder and harder to differentiate¬†what is real and what is a lie. It’s so irritating to always have to try and figure out what you are actually feeling and how much you are hiding. If any of you out there is reading this, please build your relationship on trust and honesty. Don’t ever hide your feelings.

I’ve been trying so hard to see behind the facade, behind all the fake smiles. It’s getting really tiring. At the end of the day, if you want to hide what you feel, that’s your prerogative, who am i to barge in and force the truth out of you? Right now, i slowly accepting things, if you want to carry on like that, so be it? it’s your choice anyway. It’s not as if i have never brought this up before. I’ve told you so many times to be honest with how you feel, in case you didn’t know, humans are not born with mind reading capabilities¬†, i won’t know what you are feeling if you don’t tell me.

This has been going on for 2 weeks now, and honestly i’m tired of it. I’m just letting things be and see how it works out. There’s really nothing much i can do as well, whatever will be will be.¬†

 

I

Wow, this is the first time i’m actually doing this. But well, i needed an escape, a release and what better way than to put my thoughts into this world. Hopefully this acts as a sort of healing for me.

Have you ever felt so helpless in a situation? Where everywhere you look, there isn’t an escape. Stuck in a rut, stuck in the bottom of a well hoping someday some one is going to swing by and save you? Well welcome to my life now…..

I’m so tired of pretending to be happy, pretending everything is okay. the past few days i can’t seem to find the motivation or that inspiration to drag myself out of bed. It’s as if i’ve lost the fight in me. Right now, as i am typing this, i feel so numb to everything that is happening, i’m suppose to feel sad and hurt but somehow i don’t. Some would say this is a blessing, who wants to suffer and feel pain right? But well, it makes me feel like a robot, a soulless zombie.

Being in love is such a double-edged sword, on one hand it brings you that happiness, the sort of joy that you can find when you have that special someone in your life, going through everything by your side. But when you have that special someone, when you let that person in through your walls, have you thought what if that special someone turn on you and just stab you where it hurt most? Have you ever thought of that? Just how much are you willing to risk? I’ve risked it all and now i’m paying the price.

It’s not as if i have never been through this before, but when it comes to love, everyone brings a different pain to the table, a pain that is so unique to them. I could have never been prepared for the pain that she brings.